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| - far away Hey it is me yet again. with yet another story of my boring depressed life. i do not know what to do with myself half the time. it seems everytime i want to be happy an obsticle gets thrown down in the path of my happiness. it scares me sometimes because i have to be in the right state of mind to raise christopher but sometimes i feel like i am failing him. i am so depressed lately and i got to do something to get happy again. to be happy sometimes means to give up a part of your life. all that seems to really care about me is my friends and family but especially my son christopher. he is only 3 years old and it is so strange how he has effected my life in more ways than i can count. i love him to death and i know he will always be here as friends come and go. so do boyfriends they come and go but my little boy will always be here. the only thing i can do is hope and pray that i raise him a hell of alot better than i have ever thought i could. well i am out for the now.
tabbi | | |
| - my body I am so tired of all the fucking drama you haters want to start. Why can't you all just back the fuck off and let me be. I am trying to be happy and I am trying to raise my son. But everytime I turn around someone wants to spread lies about me. Why? Especially the ones who are doing it now. I have done nothing but be nice to them and then they want to repay me by lying behind my back. I am so tired of all you fucking people who lie about everything. I swear I could KILL someone right now and I would not feel bad or sorry about it. LEAVE ME ALONE take your drama as well as your lies elsewhere.
tabbi  | | |
| Month One
Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of
your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your
heart beat is my favorite lullaby.
Month Two
Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me, you could
definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home
though. It is so nice and warm in here.
Month Three
You know what Mommy, I'm a girl !! I hope that makes you happy. I always want
you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad
too, and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.
Month Four
Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a
lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my
fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it
too.
Month Five
You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a
baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?
Month Six
I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it?
It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy!! HELP me!! No .
. .
Month Seven
Mommy, I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. he is holding me. He told me about
abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never
see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never
run. One more mouth that will never speak.
We Need To STOP!!! Abortion | | |
| - my hump  Okay, so I haven't used xanga in awhile. So I will fill everyone in on what is happening in my life. I am with a wonderful man named Richie who I am going to be marrying soon. I haven't got my engagement ring but that is my Christmas presnt. Richie is the most wonderful man GOD could have ever created. My son Christopher loves Richie to death and even calls him DADDY. Which by the way makes both Richie and I smile. So I had an appointment on the 15th to have a certain kind of surgery done on my cervix. It is called a LEEP. For those of you who don't know what a LEEP is it is where they use an electric surgical knife in the shape of a loop and they remove cancerous cells from teh cervix. I was told on the 15th that I should sit down and think about having a hysterectomy done. That is where they surgically remove all of your reproductive organs so you may never have another child. I do not want to have a hysterectomy done unless it is life or death. I want me and Richie to have a baby of our own one day. But it looks like they may never happen. At least I can say GOD has blessed me with a gorgeous little boy. I am still living here in the Solomon Homes and when I get a job me and Richie might even find our own place. Angie we will find a house big enough for you to live with us too. I do want you to live with me. I miss you so much. I wish my ex boyfriends would grown the fuck up and realize that my life is going very well right now and to leave me the hell alone that means you Shawn and Mike. I am very happy with Richie and Mike you are just jealous that I do not want your nasty ass back. Well everyone I am off now. I love you all.
Love always,
Tabbi
a.k.a. Pepki   | | |
| - breakdown  Okay so it is official I'm depressed. I have done nothing but cry all day. I'm in the process of cleaning. I am cleaning everything in my apartment tonight and tomorrow. I'm currently drinking a smirnoff twisted green apple. Some guys make it seem so easy to fuck someone and forget about them. They think it is a game or something. I can't forget the recent guys I have fucked except for Randy. Randy is a no good son-of-a-bitch. I wish that I never had to deal with shit that guys put me through. I am so upset and wish that I could disappear fromt eh face of the earth. well people I need to get the fuck off of this because im crying again.
tabbi
friends are forever forever like you | | |
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